Why I'll live forever

I stumbled upon a corked bottle as I was fishing along Rapid Creek yesterday. I rubbed it and a Genie appeared offering up a single wish.

"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the Genie. "We don't grant such requests."

"Okay," says I. "I want to die after the last Democrat pulls his head from his ass."

"Clever bastard," says the Genie....

Battle of the babes

Let's just reduce this race to the lowest common denominator. So the real question is which one is hotter? Are male voters between the ages of 18 and 64 likely to vote for a Blue Dog homespun motherly type, or the hot ranch babe?

Of course, the old sexist joke is: You've got two candidates for a job. Both have different qualifications and both bring different qualities to the job. Which do you hire? The one with the big hooters.

In this case, both candidates wear particularly modest clothing, making it difficult to make that distinction...

The rules

1. Nothing racial...ever. Period. Nothing that would be considered an epithet toward gays. Fact is, I don't want them bitching around here.

2. Nobody gets accused of a crime (for the first time) here. You may call a politician an asshole. You may not call him a rapist, child molester, etc. unless of course, the court system has decided beyond a reasonable doubt that he is one.

3. Discussions of religion, are the only discussions here where a modicum of respect is required. Broad generalizations about priests and alter boys are not acceptable. We may not say that all Muslims are terrorists. Neither are all Jews cheapskates and warmongers. Nor are all Presbyterians great at making noodle salads.